Sickies (part 2)

Oh yes.  There is yet another chapter in this ridiculous sickness saga.

I had to take Nathan in to convenient care this afternoon when I went down for my physical because I just couldn't take the fact that he couldn't stop coughing.  He was literally coughing 5-6 times per minute all morning long.  And I'm glad I took him.  Turns out his oxygen levels were down to 94%, which apparently is bad for his age.  The NP we saw, who was as amazing as the lady we had yesterday for Natalie, checked him out ever so gently and told me that he may need a chest x-ray.  I sort of got worried at that point, and seeing my anxiety, she suggested that we could try a stronger nebulizer medication before going the x-ray route.  So we sat there and Nathan patiently took his treatment.  Then I had an appointment with my doctor upstairs for my school physical, so we went to get that over with while the medicine took effect for Nathan.

We came back down to convenient care after my appointment and a quick trip to the lab, and when they checked his pulse-oximetry again, it was a much better 98-99%.  So we got to skip out on the x-ray today and came home with a script for this Pulmocort nebulizer treatment that he's supposed to get twice a day for at least two weeks and possibly longer.

We're supposed to go see Dr. Schuster next week. (Thank you to Michigan State for losing so we can have our favorite doctor back!)  Sounds like we might get an official diagnosis of asthma, which would probably involve daily maintenance treatment.  Totally fine with me since that may help prevent this never-ending cycle of bronchitis every four to six weeks.

Anyway, please be praying for my boy.  He's so pitiful right now, and I really really hope that this medication takes care of this problem.

In other news, Natalie is much better.  Unfortunately, because she's been out of commission for two weeks as far as making mischief goes, we got an extremely heavy dose of ANNOYING this afternoon and evening.

Sigh...

*thankyouJesusforahealthygirlthankyouJesusforahealthygirlthankyouJesusforahealthygirl*

Still sort of worried about Nola because she's still running a fever.  I have a feeling I'll have to take her down tomorrow, but I just couldn't take her today because of my appointment.  And I couldn't cancel it again.  So we'll see how she is, but I pray that Jesus would just totally heal her overnight.

And that's it on the sickies for now...

Sickies...

So over the past two weeks, we've had some crazy bugs going around this house. 

• Natalie started things off with what looked like stomach flu - fever, hourly puking, and body aches.
• Nathan and Nola were starting with cold symptoms which always ends up in sinus infections and ear infections.
• Took everybody to the doctor on Friday (3/9) (and saw somebody else because Dr. Schuster is out because Michigan State is doing well in the NCAA tournament ... wha?!?) and heard the three words no parent with sick kids wants to hear: "It's just viral."
• Decided to take them to the again on Tuesday (3/13).
  
• Nathan had a sinus infection and bronchitis (ummm...duh?) which landed him prescriptions of augmentin, hydroxyzine, and albuterol nebulizer treatments.
• Nola had an ear infection and beginnings of a sinus infection.  Amoxicillin and hydroxyzine for her. (again, duh.)
• Didn't have Natalie checked at that point because I was sold on the viral diagnosis.
• Natalie seemed to improve a little, so I sent her to her dad's for the weekend.
• He called and said she had a fever of 102.4 Sunday night.
• Meanwhile, the other two were not getting better.
• Nola spiked a 102.8 fever Sunday night too.
• Nathan's fever came back that night too, but it wasn't as high - 101, I think.
• Got Natalie back on Monday (3/19) morning and spent all day trying to manage fevers.
• Kids continued to show no improvement on all the medicine, and Natalie was still miserable.
• Called the doctor about Nathan and got a different antibiotic for him.  Waited a few more days as suggested for Nola.
• Yesterday was the fourth day of high fever for Natalie, so I took her back down to convenient care where we had the sweetest, most friendly, provider (not sure if she was PA, MD, or NP) we've ever had there.  She was so great with Natalie and made her smile as she asked questions and was so understanding of my frustration with the "viral" diagnosis.  She tested her for strep, and it came back positive.  Thank goodness it's something we can treat and get rid of rather quickly!  
• Today she's fever-free and feeling well enough to take the initiative to organize all of the clothes in her entire dresser even though she's having some not-so-pleasant side effects of her augmentin.
• Nola and Nathan, on the other hand, seem to be a little worse again today.  Worse cough for Nathan and more fever for Nola.  I'm wondering if I should just stop the antibiotics they're on and wait a day or so to take them back for a strep test since it's so contagious that I'm pretty sure both of them have it.  

Ugh...I'm so tired.  Can't wait until everybody is feeling well again!!!!  I don't remember a time when sickness lasted this long with so many different symptoms and such crazy fevers.  And my poor Natalie...she's been so still and quiet for so many days, and that is TOTALLY unlike her.  Please pray for my little sickies, and pray for supernatural strength and endurance for me.

Emotional today

I have honestly felt on the verge of tears for the majority of today.  And I have no concrete reasons for this.  I started to think about possible reasons for this insanity as I was crying on Kevin's lap as he sweetly stroked my hair earlier, and the only conclusion I could come to was that I'm fatigued.  I'm waiting fatigued.  I know.  Not a real reason to cry, right?  I mean, people all over the world -- and I don't even have to go that far -- all over this county have harder things to deal with, and I'm fatigued due to waiting?  I don't actually know if it's that; that was just a guess. 

I know in writing this that I'm likely to come off as whiny and impatient and immature and misunderstood.  But excuse me for a minute while I use my blog to write about me.  The real me.  The one that few ever see because I'm so programmed for mercy and understanding and encouragement for others.

Believe me, I'm not trying to be a martyr here.  I'm really not.  I think that's some of the reason I'm so tired.  I'm tired because my intentions and desires are really as pure as they can be, and I use a lot of energy defending them to myself and to God and to others.

I don't want our new house because I want to be like somebody or because I'm jealous of anyone else.  I don't want it because it's beautiful or because it's in a nice neighborhood.  I don't want it because I want to get out of Rantoul.  I don't even want it because my kids will be likely to get into one of the better schools in Champaign by living there.

I want it because God my Father told me it's ours and because it's what our family genuinely needs.

I want it the way a barren woman wants a child.  The way an unemployed father wants to provide for his family.  I want it the way that Jesus wants each one of us for his very own.  I want it for the peace it would provide our family as we take it upon ourselves to provide safety and comfort for my brother-in-law.

I've seen plenty of other beautiful homes, and I can honestly say that God was right there with me telling me I was wasting my time.  See for me, looking at other houses was not about finding one that was bigger or better in any way.  I'll never find something that would fit our family's needs better than the one we're waiting on.  Looking around has been about finding something that would work so that the timing will be what I want it to be.  It's so that I can put my crazy mind to rest in knowing that Natalie is registered for school in Champaign, Nathan and Nola are transferred down to Champaign for Head Start, and there's an end in sight to paying so much for gas.

But those are not God's main goals.  I believe that God's main goal in all of this is to teach me to hear his voice, follow his leading, wait for his timing, and find joy in the waiting.  So far I've really struggled with those last two.  But I got a suggestion from a very wise woman at church today to just act as if I've already gotten the answer I'm waiting for from these people.  After all, I've already heard the answer from God, so why do I need to wait on somebody else to tell me the same thing?  Makes sense to me.  So this week I plan to joyfully wait for God's timing.  I will be using my spring break to do some spring/moving cleaning.  I'm going to get rid of everything I wouldn't want to pack up and move, and I'm going to love every minute of it.  I'm going to bless people with things that they need and I have but am not using.  I'm going to just get rid of everything that has been sitting in closets and on shelves since we moved into this house.  So be watching Facebook for pictures of stuff I'm getting rid of.  Heck, I may just hold a free garage sale and watch it all fly off my driveway.

God is moving.  This family of mine is moving.  I might as well get moving too.

Here it is...please be praying for us!

Thank you, Jesus.

Matthew 6:31-33

"So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?'" (or my current worry, where will we move?) These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs.

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

Sigh...

I never realized how much I hate waiting.  Restated:  I never realized how similar I am in this way to my 5-year-old.  I like feedback.  I like step-by-step progress reports.  I like met deadlines.  I thrive in schedules and plans.  Perhaps this is why God gave me Nola, and for that matter Kevin.  They are so not the same as me.  Maybe I'm supposed to learn to be more flexible.  I don't think God is asking me to totally change who I am, but I think He wants me to be less fixated on schedules and expectations.  

So while we're in this period of waiting for word that we did or didn't get a house that would meet all of our present and foreseeable needs, God wants me to relax.  To spend my time doing all the little things that will prepare me one way or another for moving to that house or another one. 

I've felt in my spirit ever since the first time that I saw a picture of the house that it was the one for us.  There was a little delay between that and actually making contact with anyone about it.  And once I drove by it and then eventually walked through it and realized that it was even better for us than I thought, I completely feel like it's ours.   Believe me when I say that I have more to go on than just feelings.  I have words and pictures and prayers from myself and other people guiding and confirming my thoughts.  I hear God speaking to me more at this time in my life than any other.  It's just the waiting that is driving me crazy.  It's crazy that I'm feeling God move in all sorts of ways, but here I am asking him to move faster?!  

But this scripture, as well as many others, has spoken to me.  So yes, I'll continue to wait.  What other choice do I have, right?  I can't promise that I'll always be patient and composed.  I definitely will lose it sometimes.  But I will learn through this that any schedule, expectation, or plan that I have cannot even begin to compare to any schedule, expectation or plan that God has for me and my family.