Monday, April 9, 2012

Hearing without listening

I don't know why, but over the past two days I've felt so burdened for families with kids with chronic and/or life-threatening illness.  Whether it's a first-time mother who has lost her baby at about seven months gestation or a 10-year-old boy fighting for his life against cancer, I feel deeply for them.  My heart is broken wide open for the situation.  I just read another story of a 4-year-old boy who was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy as a baby.  Heartbreaking.  But there is such beauty in each of these stories.  There is such strength and empowerment in the lives of these families.  There is a tenderness in the daily struggle and sorrow that I can clearly never know in two days of being touched by the stories.  But the overall effect these stories are having on my perspective of and attitude toward my children and life in general is completely overwhelming.

In some ways, I feel like these pulls on my heart are part of God's call on my life.  I've known for awhile now that my ultimate career goal is to practice somewhere in obstetrics, maternal-child health, pediatrics, somewhere along those lines.  So there's that aspect, but I think reading about the ridiculously difficult experiences of these families also makes me realize how fortunate I am to have the struggles that I do have. 

In a season that is difficult in many ways, perspective is quite a blessing.  I need to know that having children who disobey more often than they obey is not the end of the world.  (Yet.)  I need to know that not sleeping will likely not kill me, at least not until I'm old and predisposed to Alzheimer's due to said lack of sleep.  I need to know that all of my struggles could be a million times more difficult.  Perspective, an important reality check.  A quick snap of God's fingers in front of my face. 

So yes, God.  I hear you even though I wasn't listening for this kind of message.  Thanks for the grace to see my life from the perspective you've given me.

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