Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Word of the year: growth.

Have you ever had an experience that is so life-changing that you wake up the next day or a few days later and feel as though you've lived several years because your mindset is so drastically different?

This is how I've been feeling for almost a month now after experiencing a conference so powerful that I'm still processing all that has changed in my mind and heart.  Our leadership training at church was this past Monday, and again I'm reeling.  In my prayer times with God lately, I've been feeling like the word of 2012 in my life is growth.  Spiritual growth, growth in leadership, personal growth, growth in my marriage, growth as a mother, growth growth growth growth.

I imagine that this is how babies feel when they hit a growth spurt.  They have no idea what's happening to them.  All they know is it's strange.  It's a desperate, constant, impossible to ignore, needing, wanting feeling that propels them to the next stage of their development.  All they want to do is eat and be nurtured and encouraged and loved as they try to conquer the confusion that is rapid growth.

So like a baby, I'm overwhelmed at the rate of growth I'm experiencing.  I have no idea whether or not the changes in my life and my thinking are visible to people around me yet.  I've never experienced anything like this before, and at times it's completely overwhelming -- especially when I start thinking of all these things that "I" need to do.  It's easy to try and think of my new responsibilities as my own, which produces anxiety and doubt that I'm good enough.  But thankfully I don't have to be good enough because there was only one person who was ever good enough and He died so that I don't have to worry about measuring up.   I must remind myself that the responsibilities I'll soon have are not my own.  There is no way I'd do any of it without God's guidance and grace.

So here's to growth, growth, and more growth over the next several months!  Pray for me!

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