"I brought glory to you here on earth by completing the work you gave me to do."
Reading this verse makes me realize how close to (or maybe even still behind) the starting gate I am. Finishing well is a goal of mine. A very long term goal. But a shorter term goal is to begin the work God is giving me to do.
Just recently I started to feel led to form a small group as I prayed and read my Bible on a more consistent basis. Can I just say how much easier it is to hear God if you're actively listening? What a revelation, right?! Then at the last VLT training at church, I received some words from some friends and fellow M2M leaders that have really begun to push me. Some of the words were leadership, responsibility for others, influence, and teaching. After leaving VLT, I prayed the whole way home. And I got a clear answer that I am to start a small group. So I sat on that for longer than I probably should have, but I did finally reach out and talk to and exchange emails with one of the small group pastors. And I filled out all the information for our group to start in February. Phew. My assigned work commenced: check.
So now what?
I wonder every day who (if anyone) will show up. I wonder if we'll even make it through the first month with any regular participants. I fear failure. I worry about how the kids will behave. I know that I'll have to be stubborn enough to push through when Kevin wants to quit because his expectations for immediate success sometimes supercede any patience to see it all the way through.
And despite all the anxiety that I feel, I know that it's not my plan. It's God's. And in a way, the anxiety is comforting because I know that I'm feeling this way because I'm doing the right thing. It's like being crazy-nauseous when you're pregnant. At least for me when I was without that awful feeling, I would worry that the pregnancy is okay since the nausea is a clear sign to me that things are going according to plan in there. In that way anxiety is a great thing.
I'm already getting ideas of certain people and families that we should invite to participate in our small group. I know God already has people picked out for us to get to know and do life with. And every once in a while it's like He lets me in on his secret plan by showing me somebody that I should be pulling into our circle.
I can't say enough how excited I am to see where this goes. So pray pray pray for us as we begin this new work that we would enjoy it, have amazing times with new people, and stick with it no matter what.